Manda went to heaven in November 2007 at the age of 18.
She was diagnosed with “heart disease” several years ago. She had a heart murmur for many years which us unsymptomatic so she didn’t have any treatment for it. However, I always kept her on a healthy diet, knowing that a heart problem was impending.
After our greyhound, Russ passed away from cancer, Manda, our pomeranian started having health problems. Her heart murmur got worse. Within six months after his passing, Manda had to start medication for heart disease. It was my first experience with seeing a dog grieve over the loss of another dog. She really missed him and it harmed her health.
I don’t remember the exact date but I remember the signs, symptoms and being at the veterinarian as Manda was diagnosed with renal failure or kidney disease. (I hear the terms used interchangeably.) We began more medications. Life was managed with “pee pads”, gates, nice kennel type play pens and lots of love.
She had given so much to me for so many years. I couldn’t turn my back on her now in her time of weakness and need. During the last month of life, we managed although I could tell the quality of life was declining. Manda never did “doggy things” anymore. She just wanted to sleep. She didn’t seem comfortable even with high doses of about 10 different medications which were given around the clock. She was high maintenance by this time and a special needs dog but I never begrudged a single moment spent taking care of her and I never begrudged a single penny spent on her.
A couple of months earlier, started this little “shiver” thing. She would do it as I took her outside. She would do it when I took her to the vet. She would do it when company was at our home. I assumed she was scared because she was blind and deaf by this time.
On Manda’s last day, we were at the veterinarian because it was obvious to me that she was doing worse and medicine wasn’t managing her pain. After diagnostic testing, it was revealed to me that Manda had a tumor in her neck the size of my thumb. She also had kidney stones and even more arthritis was visible. Her trachea was also collapsing more.
Afterwards, I believe the “shivering” was from pain from the tumor in her neck. It’s just my opinion. The times she would “shiver” seem to be when I was lifting her or putting her down. I’m not sure I should of assumed she was simply frightened.
Afterwards, I got to thinking about those last couple of tough weeks. I took her to the vet asking if they could tell she was really doing worse. I just needed someone else to be able to see what I was witnessing. The testing showed that she really was doing worse. My bubbly demanding little dog was not the same little dog.
I remember many years ago when the veterinarian found the heart murmur. I was told at that time dogs can live a long time with heart disease and that it could be something else that takes Manda. That veterinarian was right, Manda didn’t die of heart disease. We managed it. She didn’t die of kidney disease. We managed it. She died because she had a myriad of health conditions including arthritis, a collapsing trachea, kidney disease, heart disease … and then the kidney stones and tumor in her neck.
After my loss of Manda, I suddenly had two free hours each and every day. I never realized just how much time I spent care giving until she was gone.
I miss my little dog so much! She was always under my feet. There are still mornings I wake up and move carefully because I’m expecting my tiny dog to be somewhere. Losing my dog has been very difficult.
~Trina
Papa & Nedd
